The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there was a trapeze. enough said
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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