So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
