What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
