NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize