My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
