girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Don't EVER smell your tampon
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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