She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
