You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
