So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
