hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
