Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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