ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
