Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
