woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
