I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
