id be glad to
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
