We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
