no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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