bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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