Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
