dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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