And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
