i just google imaged poop.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Your penis caused this!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
