So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
