$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
