If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
