I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize