lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
