I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I want to fling myself into the sun
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
