We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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