Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
