I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You were trust falling into bushes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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