i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
