party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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