i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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