i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
