I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
