I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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