I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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