Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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