What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
