you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
