i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
