what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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