would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
