Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
