I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
