You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
