He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
