Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
