am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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