there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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