i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
