yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
