if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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