Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
