At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
