Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
